Strange Faces: Part 11

“Now what?” asked Sancho.

“I don’t know, but we probably don’t have much time.  He could be back any minute.” I said.

The entity we had come to know as Scooter had retreated into the house after cryptically warning that we were about to “do it the hard way”. After several minutes of snickering at his phrasing, which I will not recount here, we were still no closer to a plan than before, and I felt that we were running out of time.

“Wait a minute, I got it!” exclaimed my brother.

Sancho and I turned to face him, expectantly.  I don’t think either of us really believed he had a viable plan, but I was certain it would be entertaining.

“Ok, get this.  First we all jump him at once.  He doesn't look that strong.  I’ll hold his legs, Sancho you hold his arms, and then you read passages of Twilight until begs for mercy.”

“You idiot”, I said.  “Where are we going to get a copy of Twilight at this hour?”

“You’re both idiots,” said Sancho.  “Is that what you focused on, really?  Twilight?  How about we just jump him, like he said.  Why haven’t we tried that yet?”

“I don’t know.  He’s kind of creepy.  I don’t want to touch him.”

“Well you might have to anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, this thing wants to basically absorb you, right?  He wants to take over your body, god knows why.  But you’re basically the same person, see?  So, why can’t you just absorb him?”

“You really think I haven’t thought about that?”

“Well you haven’t said anything.  What’s the problem with that?”

“The problem is, he might be right, OK?  I’m not sure I wouldn't just welcome oblivion.”

My brother looked up from his spell-books.  “What are you talking about?  You’re still depressed?  Just get over it already.”

“Sure,” I said.  “”Cause its that easy.”

“Look, the fact is, I’m just not sure how much I care.  This has already gone on way too long and I’m beginning to lose interest. “

“Well that doesn't mean you have to let yourself be taken over by the handless wonder over there.”

“Why not?  I’m tired, OK?  Tired of waking up and doing the same thing every day.  Forcing a smile on my face like a cheap mask so that people will think I’m normal.  I dislike or outright hate almost everyone and everything seems stupid to me.  The best part of my day is going to sleep and the worst part is waking up.”

There was silence for a moment.  Sancho and my brother shared a glance, neither one of them daring to look me in the eye.  I had to think that they both knew how I felt.  I may not broadcast my feelings, but surely they must have picked up on it from time to time, which would account for their reticence to speak.  It was a shared shame. 

Not being able to admit my depression was my shame.  Theirs was not saying something when they knew that must be a problem.  

Not that I could blame them.  Not when I wasn't ready to talk about it myself.  In fact, I don’t want to talk about it now.  It’s all that doppelgangers fault.

“You know what?”  I said.  “Fuck that guy.”

My brother and my friend looked up in confusion.

“Yeah,” agreed Sancho, “fuck that guy.  You’re not gonna let that guy win are you?”

“No.  I’m not” I said with sudden conviction.  “I may be every bit as pathetic as he says I am, but if I have to go, it’s gonna be when I decide to go.”

“Alright then!”  said a grinning Buster.  “So we jump him and then fuck his shit up! Right?”

“No, that’s not the way” said Sancho. 

Buster said, “what do you mean?  Lets kick his ass!  I’ll get the butter knife.”

I turned to the house, where Scooter was just making his way out the back door.  He was carrying something, but I couldn't quite make it out at this distance.  No doubt a prop in his plan to “do it the hard way”.  I wondered what it was.

“You don’t understand”, said Sancho.  “Scooter is everything that’s missing from your brother.  The desire, the motivation, the ability to see color in the world instead of viewing it in black and white.  Scooter wants to merge to become the dominant personality,  and bury him somewhere deep.  But what if it’s the other way around?”

“He means,” I said, turning to look at my brother, “What if I can merge with him and take back all that I've been missing?”

“All these years, I've always felt so empty.  Whatever dark recesses of my mind he emerged from, he brought back what could possibly make me whole again.”

With new determination, I called out to Scooter, “Come get some.”

To be continued..

JrX

Strange Faces: Part 10

Part 10

“I thought you had to summon him first?” I asked Buster.

“Yeah, that would have been awesome,” he said.

“You dumbasses.  He wants to be here more than we want him here, more than likely,” added Sancho.

“What do you mean?”

“He means”, my mirror self interrupted, “I’m ready for my close up”.

And with that, the environment around us began to shimmer as the apparition we’ve come to know as Scooter once again tore its way into our reality.  Stepping out of the mirror onto the lawn, he seemed more there than ever, something I attributed to the magical energies at work in my back yard.  Walking to the edge of the circle, he now seemed to be nothing more than a crude facsimile of myself.  Once familiar features were dissolving into a more ragged visage as he gained more strength. 

Or maybe I’m just really seeing myself for the first time, I thought.

 And shuddered.

  As he walked toward the circle, he reached out with his left hand, testing the limits of our protection.  The air seemed to ripple as he dragged his fingers across the invisible barrier.

“I’m sorry,” I said, “Entry requires both hands.”

“Ohhhh, burn!” said Sancho, as he and my brother smirked.

“Hmmmm...” Scooter looked at the stump of his right hand.  “I’m gonna let that one go.”

I said, “Well, that very handsome of you.”

“All right, enough.  You know why I’m here.”

“You’re looking for a handout?” asked Sancho.

“Ok, that’s real funny, but now it’s time for bus-“

“Holy athame!” shouted Buster, as he threw the butter knife at Scooter.

We all watched as it sailed harmlessly past my doppelganger to land with a soft thud next to the mirror.  There was a moment of silence as we all turned to look at my brother, who took this opportunity to study his shoes.  “Soooo….what were you saying again?” he asked.

Scooter responded, “I was saying, it’s time to end this foolishness and get down to business.”

I stepped forward warily.  I knew that this had to end as well, as it had gotten progressively stupider as the night wore on.  The human mind can only tolerate so much.  But I had no idea what to do.  Looking him in the eye, I asked  “So, what happens now?”

“What happens now is you come out of that circle and join with me.  You won’t be completely lost, just kind of put away.  In a nice little corner of our mind.  I made a nice little virtual room for you; its got a tv and an Xbox and plenty of porn, so you won’t be bored.  And you won’t have to worry about anything else, ever again.”

“I already do that.  I fail to see the benefit here.”

“Don’t be so glib” he responded.  “Think about it.  You want this.”

“And what would you get out of this…arrangement?” I asked, ignoring his last statement.

“A chance to live a real life.”

“What, like Pinocchio?”

“Uh, sure, like Pinocchio.  But –“

“Because I don’t know how that would work out for you.”

“…uh, well-“

“You know at one point he was turned into a donkey?”

“Ok, but ….well.. what?”

“The point is, I like my life the way it is.”

“Wait, how did any of what you just said have a point, and how was…you know what?  Doesn’t matter.   Look, this is happening, whether you like it or not, so just lay back, spread your legs and go to your happy place.”

“Yeah, well how are you going to get me?  Huh?  Come at me bro!  Oh, wait, you can’t cross our circle, can you?  Well, that’s jus too bad, sucka.” And with that, I put my right arm straight out and opened my fingers, staring bullets into my twin.

From behind me, I heard Sancho ask, “Did he just pretend to drop a microphone in front of Scooter, like in that movie with that one rapper guy?”

“Yeah,” said Buster.  “But I think he pulled it off.”

Ignoring everyone else, Scooter looks me in directly in the eye. 

“Alright, you want to do this the hard way?  Let’s do it the hard way.”

To be continued. Probably.

Jrx

Strange Faces: Part 9

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If you had told me this morning when I woke up that I would be spending my evening in the  backyard summoning spirits, I would have laughed in your face and questioned your parentage.  But here I am, in the middle of a circle with my brother and best friend, about to re-enact the scene from every horror movie when everything goes wrong.  Except, this wasn't a movie.  It was real life, and a whole lot weirder.  

“You know, you don’t have to be here”.  My brother was addressing Sancho.

“Are you kidding?  This is the most interesting thing that’s happened all week” he said.  “Also, moral support, I guess” he continued , noticing my disapproving look.

“Can we just get started?” I asked. “Its already dark, so if you're waiting for the right time, this is it.”

“Ok” Buster responded.  “Here we go”

Sancho and I moved to the rear of the circle, while Buster, wielding his ceremonial butter knife moved to the northern most corner with his zippo lighter, ready to light the candle.  As solemnly as he could, he intoned:

Guardians of the North, I call upon you 

to watch over the rites of us three guys. 

Powers of endurance and strength, guided by Earth, 

we ask that you keep watch over us 

tonight within this circle, and keep us from screwing up. 

Let all who enter the circle under your guidance 

do so in perfect love and perfect trust.

Sancho and I exchanged a look.  I shrugged whispered, “maybe he’s improvising”

As we turned our attention back to my brother, he continued to move across the circle, making similar invocations at the other three points, while lighting the corresponding candles.  As he lit the last one, we began to notice a distinct change in our environment.  Specifically, it was brighter.  It wasn't the candles either;  the edges of the circle had begun to emit a faint blue aura, a soft and somehow comforting light that seemed to hold back the darkness that came with the night. 

“Soooo, this is normal, right?” I asked my brother.

“Honestly, this has never happened before”  he replied, clearly a bit taken aback himself.

“Well, what did you expect to happen?”

“I don’t know, I’m just going through the motions here.”

“That’s real comforting.  Why did we call you here again?”

“Look, “ Sancho interrupted, “this actually makes sense”

“Oh, yeah?” said my brother.  “And you’re the expert here, right?”

“Well, no.  But clearly you aren't’ either.”  Turning to me, he said “Alright, lets assume that drinking that magically contaminated soda somehow allowed you to manifest some sort copy of yourself.  That same magical energy must still be around here somewhere, maybe leaking from your armpits in magical sweat for all we know.   That magical energy is probably lending itself to Busters ritual in a way that he never could. “

Even Buster had no response to that. 

“We’re through the looking glass here people”

“Jesus” I said exasperated. “How long have you been waiting to make that reference”

“All. Freaking. Day.”  He said with a grin.

“Whatever” Looking at my brother, I said “ Where's the mirror?

“Over there” he pointed.

Following his pointed finger, I saw the mirror leaning against the sole tree in the backyard, maybe ten feet from the edge of the circle.

“So, do I just walk out of the circle and get it, or what?”

“No, see, we’re in the circle to protect us.  We summon the apparition outside the circle.”

“But don’t we have to trap it or something?  If we summon it outside the circle, couldn't it just escape?”

“Well…I mean…maybe..”

Laughing to himself, clearly amused, Sancho said “This is why I hang out with you guys.”

Ignoring him, I walked over to the altar/barbecue pit and proceeded to take it apart.

“What are you doing now?” asked Sancho

“Here” I said, handing him one of the legs. “Use this to reach over and knock of the blanket on the mirror so we can get started”

Turning to my brother, I said “Ok, so how are you going to summon Scooter?”

“Well, its going to take all my skills and knowledge that I've acquired over many years of research and study.  What you’re going to witness will go down in history as my finest moment.  I’ll be at the peak of my powers.  Songs will be written about my one day, mothers will name their children after me and presidents will name aircraft carries in my honor!”

“Yeah,” said Sancho, “..he’s already here.”

Looking over at the mirror, we saw that my reflection was indeed back.

“Dammit.”said my brother.

“Hey, guys” said Scooter.  “What’s up?”

To be continued...

JrX

Strange Faces: Part 8

“Thank you for calling Mountain Dewp, my name’s Christy, how can I help you?”

“Hi, Christy, I recently purchased some of your product, and I have a little complaint”

Being the most practical of our group, Sancho had convinced me to call the number on the bottle.  To him, the straightforward approach was always best.  If he was in the movie Speed, he would have shot the hostage just like Keanu Reeves, removing them from the equation and taking away the hostage takers leverage, because to him, that was the fastest and most practical way to a solution.  The hostage may disagree, but you can’t argue with results.  Except, probably a world weary police captain, African American of course, who would be forced to suspend Sancho, asking for his badge and gun, until a formal inquiry was completed by Internal Affairs,  all while tiredly muttering “ I'm too old for this shit.”

Too old for this shit, and he still made it through 4 movies.

I'm sorry, that analogy got away from me.  Where was I?

“I’ll be happy to help you in any way I can.”

“Well, you say that.  Just wait.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Well, Christy, it seems that after ingesting some of your, *ahem*, fine product, I am now experiencing events of a supernatural variety.”

“Ah, I see.  How can I help with that?”

“How can you help?  Well, you can tell me how to get rid of ‘supernatural apparitions’.”

“ I'm sorry sir, but I'm unable to assist with that.  We’re not trained in that area.”

“Ok, well, just so you know, I plan on filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau.”

“That is of course your option, but the warning label on our product will indemnify us from any type of liability.  But perhaps I could offer you some coupons.”

“What the fuck am I going to do with coupons?  Offer my apparition half off his next purchase?”

"I'm just doing my job, sir."

“So were the Nazis, and that didn't turn out well either.”

“What?”

At this point, my brother interjected, “Dude, just hang up.  I'm almost done setting up.”

Turning to my brother, whom I have decided to call, oh let’s say, Buster, I said to the phone, “Listen, Christy, this is pointless.  I'm gonna hang up now.  I would say it’s been a pleasure talking to you, but it hasn't.”

“Well, thank you for calling Mou-“

Yeah, whatever, I thought as I hung up.   “Show me what you got” I said to Buster.

“Follow me” he replied.

Heading outside, we found Sancho in the back yard, putting the finishing touches on Busters plan. 

“What happened on the phone?” he asked.

I said “ I'm getting coupons.  What’s all this?”

  In the middle of the yard was a large circle made of salt.  Four candles were ready to be lit on what I assumed were the four cardinal points.  In the center of the circle was a makeshift altar, made from a disused barbecue grill that had clearly seen better days.  Resting atop the altar was Busters athame, or ceremonial dagger.  In reality, he didn't have an athame, but I had loaned him a freshly dish washed butter knife that I thought would work just as well. 

“Did you just pour salt all over my lawn?” I asked Sancho.  “You know nothing is gonna grow there now, right?”

Sancho said, “It’s a shitty backyard anyway.  Besides, your brother made me do it.”

Turning to Buster, I asked “So, what’s the plan then?”

“Well,” he replied, “first we cast the circle, being inside of course.  That will provide us some protection from any outside forces.  Then we summon Scooter, using this mirror I found in the garage” He pointed to what I guessed was a large mirror covered with a blanket, leaning against a tree. 

“ Wasn't that grandma’s mirror?” I asked.  “We’re not gonna destroy it or anything are we?  Mom will be pissed.”

“No, no” he said offhandedly.  “ I'm sure it will be fine.” Continuing with his plan, he said “finally, once we've summoned the apparition, we simply banish him to a dark oblivion.”  He made it all sound so simple.

I said, “You can do that?”

“Not sure” he said.  “But we’re gonna find out”.

Strange Faces Part 7

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“Well, you came to right person” my brother said.

“You’re still a witch, right?  Or a Wiccan, or whatever you want to call it?” I asked.

“ I'm whatever the world needs me to be” he said with a self-satisfying grin. 

 My brother is a modern day witch or Wiccan.  Contrary to popular belief, wiccans don’t worship the devil or practice human sacrifice.  They don’t bathe in the blood of babies or dance naked in the woods.  Ok, maybe some of them still dance naked in the woods, but if that’s what it would take to solve this problem, I think I would rather take my chances.

Where can I find a witch like that?

We asked him to consult on my little problem and he promptly came over, his arms heavy with books.  Unlike in movies, he didn't have to go to some dusty hole in the wall bookshop to get them.  Any spell books or copies of ancient texts could be had at a reasonable price at any Barnes & Nobles.  Usually in the new age section behind the coffee stand. 

“ I'm pretty sure I've got something here that will help”, he said as we exited the bathroom.  Suitably impressed with my lack of reflection he was eager to get started.  To him, this was a chance to move from the shooting range to actual combat.  I wasn't sure how seriously he was taking this, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Settling on my couch, he said “Ok, I'm gonna need some candles, preferably black, salt, plenty of orange juice and maybe some mood lighting if you can manage it.”

“Uh, OK” I said, “Candles we got, salt no problem, not sure about the orange juice though.  What’s that for? You want me to bless it?”

“What? No. What?” he asked confused.

Sancho said, “Don’t ask”.

“ I'm just thirsty” my brother said. “It’s got a lot of calcium.  Good and good for you.”

“Right, right” I said offhandedly.  “Hold on”.

Orange juice.  Apparently, its a magical elixir.

Heading to the kitchen, I opened the fridge and called out, “I got no orange juice, but I got plenty of mountain dew!”

“Yeah, that’s fine, whatever.  Just bring it” he replied.

Returning to the couch, he took the bottle I offered him.

“So,” I asked, “what’s first?”

“Well, first of all we need to---gahhh!”

He spit out the first gulp of soda, saying, “What the hell is this shit?!”

“Mountain Dew.  What’s the problem?” I asked.

“Dude this isn't Mountain Dew.”  Looking at the label, he said, “This thing says Mountain Dewp!”

“What the fuck?”

“Let me see that” said Sancho.

“Yup, its says Dewp.  You've been duped by Dewp”

“Must be a generic brand” I said.  “I bought it at a little corner store downtown.  Guess I wasn't paying attention. “

“There’s a warning label on it.”

“What does it say?” I asked.

Sancho read:

“Warning:  This product manufactured and bottled in Salem, Massachusetts, in possibly close               proximity to dark magic.   May contain FDA approved amounts of evil.  May cause supernatural apparitions.  Do not use if pregnant.  In fact, you shouldn't use this at all.  Throw it away.  My name’s Larry.  They’re keeping us here against our will.  Help! I don’t think John can last much longer.   Wait…they’re coming.

For inquiries, please call 1-888-555-DEWP.”

“Huh” I said. 

“That actually explains a lot” said my brother.

“So what do we do now?” I asked.

Looking me in the eye, Sancho said “Well, call the fucking number.”

JrX